Author’s note: I have many friends who have had gastric bypass or lap band surgery because of their own personal weight and/or other health issues. This is not a judgement against you, or the reaso…
While the 31 pound weight loss in less than a month is great, it is not the only healthy change I have seen in a month, and it is not the change I am most excited about. After finding myself in the…
Okay, right off the bat, I will say this — I still make Hamburger Helper. I enjoy it. Let me enjoy a highly-processed dinner once in a while. Anyway, last night, I decided to make the Hamburger He…
Tales from a soon-to-be former fat girl
Read and watch the daily struggles during my two year quest to lose 230 lbs naturally.
“Your flesh is not a reflection of your soul. So when you look in the mirror, remember that your light outshines your flaws.”
― D. Antoinette Foy
In 2012, I started a blog called “The Way Back to Me,” and it talked a lot about my life and my drive to lose weight and regain my health. Then, in 2013, I decided to actually buy the domain name for “Call Me Tabs” and start a new blog. For awhile, it…
So, if any of you are on Facebook, you will notice that I have been putting up pictures of my food lately. I swear, this is not to make you hungry or annoy you. I take the pictures to A) remember recipes and food combinations and B) to keep a record of how my food is changing over time.
Here are some of the pictures I’ve already shared:
It’s not all perfect, but I’m getting there. And…
“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson
It is Day 20 of my journey to a better, healthier life. I am seeing a few changes here and there — my energy level is way up, working out is more fun than I thought it would be, my clothes aren’t quite as tight anymore and I just feel better. That is the big thing — I feel BETTER…better than I’ve…
I am in the midst of a year that has brought major upheaval and transition in my life. Thankfully, I take easily to change in many situations, otherwise I may still be lost in a fog of chaos and confusion. Instead, I am swiping my way through the fog and trying my best to find the bright spots.
I lost two people I loved very much this year. One of them passed away, leaving a large hole in my…
“Have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? If so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.”
― Mitch Albom, For One More Day
When you watch your little sister die, your world stops, especially when you’ve been pissing your life and health away for so long.
My sister passed away a month ago. She was 28 years old. She left behind two children, ages 6 and 9, and a husband who loved her very much. It still doesn’t seem real to me. 15 days in the hospital, and then she was gone. I was the last one to sit with her at the hospital. I was the last one to leave her graveside. I can’t believe she is really gone. My heart breaks over and over again every day when I wake up and realize all over again that she is gone.
Her death has really make me reassess my entire thought process on health, my weight, and my life. She died way too young, and yet I’m sitting here stuffing McDonald’s into my mouth, just inviting a heart attack or stroke into my 350+ pound body. How selfish can I be?
However, my sister is not the only person I lost in this last month. My marriage is also over. I left my husband of not even a year, because I realized that it was not healthy for me to stay in that relationship, and life is too short. That’s what I’ve really learned — life is too short, even if it is the longest thing we will ever do. I’ve been faced with my own mortality in the face of losing someone so close to me, and my life is too precious to waste it on someone who does nothing but make me feel terrible about myself.
So, what do I do now? Well, I’ll probably keep doing what I’ve been doing for the last week — I’ll just keep swimming, as Dory says. I swim every day for one hour. I just put my head down and paddle. Every stroke takes me further away from my ex-husband’s negativity and closer to the goal I promised my sister I would reach — a healthy weight and life.
And what happened over the last week? I’ve started to feel better. I have more energy. I’m not as hungry as I once was, and I have rediscovered my love of fresh food. My favorite meal so far? A seared tuna steak and a salad with fresh fruit, romaine lettuce and just a touch of poppyseed dressing. I am also a big fan of avocado, which I didn’t even realize I liked until recently. It is getting easier to get up and go to the Y every day, even if my muscles are a little sore. While I have not yet seen any difference in my appearance, I just feel better overall, so I know that something is working.
In the last month, I’ve lost someone who I loved, and someone who didn’t love me. Like I said, it has helped me to realize exactly what I need to do with the rest of my life, and I wish my sister was still here to see the change.
My sister is on the left, and my daughter is on the right.
"Of of of"
Hollow voices escape from the smooth mahogany shell
Dripping down copper piping stucco lights full of dreams
“Welcome, welcome, welcome”
Cerulean crystals break into stars raining down silvers of sparks
Bouncing along in pinpricks as the sky cools it’s touch
“Thanks, thanks, thanks”
Stretching golden grins around warm velvet vines cutting off cries
As fouling angels intermingle and heaven breaks beneath the gate